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Author Topic: Dearest Wife, this is what I want for Fathers Day.(Graphic NFFOH)  (Read 270 times)
90lsturbo
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« on: March 18, 2010, 07:02:31 AM »

Every year you ask what I want for Father's Day with the kids (conveniently?) sitting right in front of us, and every year I provide G-rated suggestions because (call me a prude) its sorta not appropriate to ask for sexual favors in front of the kids. So in the off chance you're reading the rants or looking for a poolboy, even though we don't have a pool, here's what I really want:

I want to wake up to you sucking my cock. Defined, this means that I'm asleep and you go down on me while I'm asleep, not after 45 minutes of me pretending to be asleep and dreaming of winning the blow job lottery. Please skip the requisite if-I-have-to sigh and eye rolling for one day.

I want a breakfast including eggs, bacon, and fresh fruit. No carb-packed wheat-byproducts, nothing frozen, nothing out of a box, and especially nothing in individually wrapped servings.

I want to have a fun day doing anything except what is on the honey-do list. Anything on the do-honey list is perfectly OK.

Examples:
Giving me grief while watching Nascar Sunday is not a good idea.
Giving me head while watching Nascar Sunday is a great idea.
Asking me to dig some holes in the backyard is not a good idea.
Asking me to plug your hole in your backdoor is a great idea.
Taking the kids out for a while and letting me nap would be nice.
Taking my cock out and sucking it after my nap would be nicer.

For dinner, I want a slab of red meat. Fresh, premium, not shrink wrapped. BBQ'd, not nuked or broiled. Rare. So rare a good veterinarian can revive it. A tall, cold beer. And fresh vegetables on the side, although it's unlikely I'll eat them, so I don't know why I bothered mentioning them.

After the kiddies are asleep, I want sex. Uninhibited, sweaty, porn star sex. Gone for the night is the bored housewife in boring clothes reading a boring book, I am going to be the dominant male and you to be my submissive anything-to-please-daddy fuck-slut.

I want you wearing something erotic. Defined, 'erotic' includes leather, lace, high heels, crotchless, racy, etc. 'Erotic' probably includes that thing you bought for Valentines Day two years ago that never made it out of the drawer. 'Erotic' does not include baggy jammies, grandma underwear, furry slippers, sweatpants, sweatshirts, sweatsocks, or the asexual garments you wear the other 364 days.

I want my cock sucked again, deep throated, like you can't get enough, and when I cum, I want you to savor it like it's Godiva white chocolate. Don't give me that 'it tastes funny'crap; lick it up and suck it up and smile all the way.

I want you fucking me like its the last dick you'll be getting for a while. Acceptable positions are on your knees, on top, doggie style, bent over, hanging from the ceiling, pretty much anything except missionary on the bed. Slap your ass cheeks, rub your clit, pinch your nipples, talk dirty, suck me often, and most importantly, finger your ass. Finger your ass until its ready for my cock, then beg for my cock up your ass and fuck it like you did with your pussy.

When I cum, yes, I'm cumming in your ass. I don't care if you get the runs tomorrow, I am cumming in your ass. Because it feels great. And then I'll fuck your ass until I'm limp and resigned to waiting another 365 days to tap your ass again.

Because Dear Wife, it's Father's Day, my day, and that's what I really want.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/76162425.html
« Last Edit: March 18, 2010, 07:31:45 AM by 90lsturbo » Logged

go fuck yourself........................


Never forget those that we have lost... R.I.P Billy Payne, My boy Sheldon Sneider, Tony yayo...
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« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2010, 07:10:51 AM »

I guess that beats buying another tie he doesnt want.. haha
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I love that this thread died after Chels and I posted in it Grin
i think everybody should ignore chelsey just for fun haha
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« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2010, 07:24:13 AM »

wow that was graphic lol
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90lsturbo
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« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2010, 07:30:59 AM »

its funnier because it was actually posted on craigslist i found this on another site i figured uh would get a kick out of it graphic yes
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go fuck yourself........................


Never forget those that we have lost... R.I.P Billy Payne, My boy Sheldon Sneider, Tony yayo...
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« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2010, 08:10:51 AM »

Thank baby jebus for craigslist! hahah
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« Reply #5 on: March 18, 2010, 12:43:38 PM »

Wowwww
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« Reply #6 on: March 18, 2010, 01:07:54 PM »

whens fathers day anyway? LMAO ha ha this dude acts like he's king of the mofo world
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« Reply #7 on: March 18, 2010, 01:27:59 PM »

Goddamn! That dude knows EXACTLY what he wants.
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Your "show car" can't be a "TRACK/show car", simply because I know you'll bitch when you scratch your pretty paint.
You only want a track car because everyone told you to "take it to the track."

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« Reply #8 on: March 18, 2010, 02:39:04 PM »

He better watch out, the gloves are comin off for Mothers Day.. Moms can want crazy stuff too. lol
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1998 Integra:  It does start, it will drive..
1997 Stratus:  Basket of FAIL

Sometimes you just need your world rocked!

"Im a Racecar!" --Ashlyn!
I love that this thread died after Chels and I posted in it Grin
i think everybody should ignore chelsey just for fun haha
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« Reply #9 on: March 18, 2010, 02:50:04 PM »

He better watch out, the gloves are comin off for Mothers Day.. Moms can want crazy stuff too. lol

like?  Roll Eyes
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« Reply #10 on: March 18, 2010, 02:54:12 PM »

haha well i have an entire list of dirty things id love to have for mothers day. good thing i dont have a man, because i dont think any man could keep up with what i want to do and have done. lol and im sure there are other moms out there with similar lists.. maybe im wrong tho. i could be the only one. haha
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1998 Integra:  It does start, it will drive..
1997 Stratus:  Basket of FAIL

Sometimes you just need your world rocked!

"Im a Racecar!" --Ashlyn!
I love that this thread died after Chels and I posted in it Grin
i think everybody should ignore chelsey just for fun haha
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« Reply #11 on: March 18, 2010, 02:55:48 PM »

haha well i have an entire list of dirty things id love to have for mothers day. good thing i dont have a man, because i dont think any man could keep up with what i want to do and have done. lol and im sure there are other moms out there with similar lists.. maybe im wrong tho. i could be the only one. haha

*caughs while raising hand* sounds like a challange  Kiss
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« Reply #12 on: March 18, 2010, 02:57:54 PM »

I'll take that drink.

Grin
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Your "show car" can't be a "TRACK/show car", simply because I know you'll bitch when you scratch your pretty paint.
You only want a track car because everyone told you to "take it to the track."

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« Reply #13 on: March 18, 2010, 03:14:34 PM »

LOL i had to show it to my entire shop
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90lsturbo
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« Reply #14 on: March 18, 2010, 07:22:13 PM »

haha well i have an entire list of dirty things id love to have for mothers day. good thing i dont have a man, because i dont think any man could keep up with what i want to do and have done. lol and im sure there are other moms out there with similar lists.. maybe im wrong tho. i could be the only one. haha
sounds like you havent found someone to step up to the plate lol

LOL i had to show it to my entire shop
lmao thats hilarious
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go fuck yourself........................


Never forget those that we have lost... R.I.P Billy Payne, My boy Sheldon Sneider, Tony yayo...
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